I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Please, let me fuck your mom
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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