Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
