if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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