Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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