We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
