nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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