rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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