Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
