You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
