There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
