You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
