would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
