it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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