recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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