FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
