Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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