some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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