last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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