Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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