discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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