Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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