I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
