He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
