I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
