I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
this is an emotional support booty call
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
