it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
