who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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