So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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