Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
