I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
