she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
