i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
