all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
