please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
