I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
