can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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