I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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