I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
