He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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