Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i think i just lost a toe
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
