weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
