why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
