I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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