I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just pee around me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize