Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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