new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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