Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
