sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So many bounce houses so little time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
