This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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