Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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