You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize