Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
