i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
