It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
