my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
