dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
