Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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