Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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