youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
