It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Damn victory sex feels great
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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