You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
