If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
