I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize